Many moons ago, sometimes it feels like it was
a different life, a dark dimension where terror and fear were the names of my imaginary friends. I would share my struggles with others through the early years of my life, and I started to realize that the things I was having to go through were not normal, that my sad existence was a revolving door, a tornado of tears, and I was stuck in an unforgiving loop of dread. But I was the only one to blame. Then I started to make changes—positive ones—and somehow, some way, the Devil would find his way back into my life, shapeshifting, deceiving, and using temptation to lure me back into his grasp.

Each time I failed, I paid the price. I was always lukewarm, never completely devoted to God, which is one of the most powerful Bible teachings I have learned to respect:

Revelation 3:16
So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.

I was not fully burning in the fire, devoted to the Lord, nor was I completely cold, dancing with the devil. I was in between, which is worse—hypocrisy—which is why I would fall hard every time I would taste success.

As I went through my turmoils, my life would go up and down—highs, lows. Darkness mostly, some light. I would tell people my story. The feedback was always, “Damn, you should write a book.” It sounded good. Although I was quite creative, I never thought myself capable of writing a book.

I lacked faith in myself. But for some reason, every time I would go through certain unbelievable events, I would start creating and documenting—real time—every situation. A diary of sorts. No matter where I went, I made sure these fragmented depictions of my troubles would follow me.

I started finally trying to put this book together in Medellin, after I would start living a clean life—
until a certain sequence of events took place, events that would spiral my world into complete chaos, worse than ever. I was forced to make tough decisions—bad decisions. I would eventually hit rock bottom.

After surviving what felt like certain death several times, Ayahuasca found its way to me. Indigenous medicine, called “La Medicina,” a vine of vision—and through this magical root, I faced my fears, purged my soul, and met with God.

The death of my ego. A spiritual death. Something extraordinary occurred, and I snapped out of the wicked spell that I was under and realized what I needed to do.

I followed the instructions I was given that day. It wasn’t easy, but with will, prayer, meditation, and pure discipline, I broke out—woke up from the nightmare of a life I was living—and realized that I was living life wrong. I woke up and began to walk with God, started living a righteous life, and I promised I would finish my book if given the chance.

Just like that, doors started opening. Visions started coming to me—daydreams, thoughts in the shower—as if God Himself was whispering to me, giving me small nudges through signs. I read the signs and started jotting things down.

Then I did what most people fail to do. I took action. I sat down, and for months, day in and day out, night out and night in, I would dream and wake up just to sit at my desk and write. I was unstoppable. Dedicated and determined. No more distractions. Although I was sent temptation after temptation, I only laughed at the Devil’s weak attempts at pulling me from my one objective, which was to finish my testimony to God.

I envisioned it all. Saw the end game, the final result.
I saw it. The only thing I couldn’t see was how long it would take me to get there and what I would need to go through to make it happen. The unknown. But I knew that I would not fail—not this time.

So here it is, my crazy life through my eyes, made from my memories, my processed pain of what it takes to come from the darkness and enter the light. In hopes that anyone that reads it relates to it and realizes that the universe is yours. You’re the architect of your own life. YOU, and only YOU, determine what happens next. It will never be easy, but it is possible. Through faith, love, and discipline.

We can accomplish anything.
N-600 is my proof.
Read, Relate, and Realize.

From me to you. Enjoy!

— Rafael Jaramillo
Author of N600
Forged through fire.
Written in truth.
Guided by grace